Blarpio is not responsible

Grief

Wellness in the Workplace
June 14
Grief

left hand side - Grief as it is now.
right hand side - Grief as I want it to be.

The picture on the left is me holding onto the strings of some big messy intermingled balloon clouds.  Each cloud is grief but I don't know what it is.  The grey patch below the clouds is covering up some of the things I figured out I might be grieving over.  I came up with the list during the workshop as people mentioned things that might cause grief such as not having a job.  I had only considered death to be a cause of grief so I was able to figure out other things that might have affected me.

I think a lot of events, thoughts and beliefs have been attributed to having a mental illness.  I have only recently realised that calling everything "Plorabi" or "Liporba" or "Roibalp" or "Blarpio" or "Bipolar" doesn't help me process it any better.  In the picture where I'm holding onto the strings, I used to think it was like I had a deformed hand that grips tightly to strings whereas now I think it's like there's nothing wrong with my hand and I'd like to look at what's going on in the clouds so I can stop carrying them round with me.

The picture on the right is me having let go of the grief but knowing it is still there.  I am grounded and the grief is well defined and separated and the tangled mess of each one is concentrated into a smaller space.  When we discussed my picture as a group we realised that I want my grief arranged in the same configuration as the southern cross.  I don't ask for much.

Boundaries and Qualities

I attend a workshop called 'Wellness in the Workplace' and one of the things we do is draw pictures and share them with the group.

Feb 16
Boundaries

Boundaries

I can't remember what this picture means so I want to write what the others mean before I forget.

The left hand side of each picture always represents how things are currently and the right hand side how I want them to be.  Presumably I wanted my boundaries to be more consistent.

May 17
Qualities needed for a chosen job

Before drawing the picture we discussed what would be needed for our chosen job.  I chose Child Care as my job and we came up with the following personal qualities (left column) and other prerequisites (right column).  I had to circle the qualities I wanted to work on then draw them.

Authority & Patience

The picture on the left represents my current authority and patience - qualities I don't have at their best yet.  The picture on the right shows how I want my authority and patience to be.  The coloured outline appears around the people who are misbehaving - there is only one coloured outline on the right.

Although I haven't worked in child care, my experience of looking after my nephews, performing puppet shows in primary schools and leading children and youth in scouting has shown me that I need to show more authority. 

Qualities I don't have at their best yet

I am on the left.  The child is on the right.  In response to them mucking around I have joined in as though I am their friend.

The child is still mucking around but I want them to behave.  I don't feel like I can tell them to behave when I've become friends with them.

The child's behaviour has become increasingly worse.  I don't feel like I can tell them to behave because I'm scared of them.


Qualities as I want them to be

I am on the left.  The child is on the right.  In response to them mucking around I have told them that their behaviour is inappropriate.

I am able to talk with the child because they understand that I am not a friend who mucks around with them but someone they respect.  I am there to listen to them and support them.

The child and I are able to responsibly have fun.

I'm not entirely sure where patience fitted in but it could be that if I am patient in earning the respect of the child, I will be able to show authority.