Thursday, 31 May 2012

Improve-arama #1 - The Baseline

    Scars on my Fingers.

Clothes in my Laundry.

Scars on my Fingers:

I need to get this number to be much higher.

Clothes in my Laundry:
I need to get this number to be much lower.

I've figured out what's going on here.  I'm writing about everything that I'd like to improve in the hopes that it will remind me to improve it.  A cunning plan...but I'm onto

Trees in my Backyard.
No, I don't need to improve the trees in my backyard.  The trees are wonderful.  It is my appreciation of them that is lacking.  I really need to get out of the house.

I would like this number to always be a zero.

I would like this number to launch itself from the pitiful zero on which it has been resting.

Surprisingly, I would like this number to be higher.

What a confusing system.  If only I spent more time actually doing things instead of thinking and writing about doing them.

Small Things #1 - Sunset Silhouette

Sunset through the kitchen curtains onto a wall.

The beautiful pattern on the wall was amazing to witness.  
The photo - not so great.  
The caption - even less so.

I just ate a third of the actual food in my fridge - a whole bowl of pumpkin soup!  It was delicious.  My Dad makes good pumpkin soup.  I would never have seen the beautiful pattern on the wall if I hadn't been waiting at the microwave for my soup to heat up.  Hurrah for Dad's pumpkin soup.

Fridge Contents #1 - Empty Bottles

Make sure you keep your empty plastic bottles adequately chilled.

That's right.  I am currently cooling five 2L bottles and six 1L bottles.  Four of the larger bottles and two of the smaller bottles are completely devoid of liquid.  The straight cordial (I couldn't afford the gay stuff) in three of the 1L bottles would not even fill one 1L bottle.  The cordial which has already been mixed with water could probably fit in a 1L bottle but it's in a 2L bottle.  As for the last bottle, it is actually FULL, but it's full of water and I don't really know why.  Then I have my blue water bottle.  The straw appears to be broken but I leave it there in the hope that one day the little man who turns the light on and off will set to work on my water bottle and it will miraculously function.

Contents of my Fridge
  • Water
  • Cordial
  • Cordial (mixed with Water)
  • Tomato Sauce
  • Tomato Sauce (Gluten Free)
  • Hoisin Sauce
  • Dijon Mustard
  • Mayonnaise
  • Grated Cheese
  • Pumpkin Soup
Actual Food in my Fridge
  • Grated Cheese
  • Pumpkin Soup
Actual Food in my Fridge not supplied by my Dad
  •  Grated Cheese
 What my Fridge says about me today:
Nothing.  My fridge can't talk.  However, I do know that I keep looking at the cordial thinking I should make some up in the 2L bottles because I'm going to run out of ready to drink cordial very soon.  Tragedy!  Mixing cordial with water is the closest I can get to successfully making something in the kitchen.  I can proudly say that I have never burned cordial.

As for food...  Moving on.  Nothing more to see here.  No, I just haven't mastered ANY of the steps necessary for feeding myself except for the bit where I actually consume and digest the food.  Everything before that is still in the very early stages. By "very early" I don't mean "infancy", I mean "embryonic development" or "not even conceived".

Current hurdles in the way of me cooking food
  • Having the energy to get to the supermarket
  • Having the control to not be overwhelmed by the supermarket
  • Knowing what food to buy
  • Knowing what to make with the food I have bought
  • Getting home from the supermarket with the food I've bought that I don't know what to make
  • Having the energy to prepare the food
  • Knowing how to prepare the food
  • Knowing how to cook the food
The way I see it, if that was actually a hurdles race and I managed to jump the first hurdle, I would probably get to the second hurdle, stop, look at it looming down at me, turn around and crawl back to the start line.

I'd love to end on a happier note but I'm exhausted just by writing about how I see the whole 'feeding myself' scenario so I have to go and inhale a couple of litres of refrigerated bottled air.

Wednesday, 30 May 2012

Flawed Floors & Licence Loss

Eeyore and the Giraffe: Adventures on the High Seas.
The above picture probably has nothing to do with what I'm about to write, but I don't know because I'm yet to write it, or not write it, as the case may be.  It is now that I will decide what I'm going to write about in this blog.  Not just this post, the entire blog.  It seemed unnecessary to trouble myself with such trivialities before I created it.

So, recently I had to surrender my driver's licence because I was still falling asleep at the wheel and I imagine that my daily struggle to stay awake will form part of my writings.

I'm still attempting to fix some things around the house so this could be a good place to post my before and after photos of such thrilling aspects as the driveway and floorboards.

My little project before I commenced ripping up carpet and sanding floorboards was to repaint the wooden giraffe above and make little hooks where I now store cables.  The leap from sanding small pieces of dowel to sanding metres of wooden floorboards was slightly greater than anticipated and I am left with some very 'rustic' surfaces which I am yet to sand and/or varnish.

As for the driveway, which I originally thought I could remedy by filling in with some old laundry tiles, I am now left with a landslide of old crumbling slabs which used to constitute the walls of the swimming pool.  Not that it matters, seeing as I'm not allowed to drive anyway.

Advantages of not driving:
  • The discovery and subsequent delight in the noise a 600ml coke bottle makes when you hit things with the curvy bit.  
  • Finding that the ticket validating machines on buses no longer make an anxiety provoking 'you are a terrible person because your ticket doesn't work' beep but instead they sound like a jolly bouncing frog. 
Disadvantages of not driving:
  • Getting a cold from visiting a doctor 5mins drive away because it took a few hours of travelling and waiting in the freezing cold night air.  

I can't blame that entirely on not driving; it would have been more sensible to visit the doctor during daylight hours.  Unfortunately, I felt too sick to go to the doctor.

The sickness I had before and the sickness I have inherited since have nothing to do with the reason I went there in the first place.  Much like this blog.  Much like my life in general.

Well, that explains it.
The main themes shall be: 
  • Largely irrelevant photos
  • Staying awake
  • Not driving
  • House renovations
  • Things that make funny noises
  • Complaining about my own stupidity
  • Trying to figure out what I'm writing about