Thursday, 31 May 2012

Fridge Contents #1 - Empty Bottles

Make sure you keep your empty plastic bottles adequately chilled.

That's right.  I am currently cooling five 2L bottles and six 1L bottles.  Four of the larger bottles and two of the smaller bottles are completely devoid of liquid.  The straight cordial (I couldn't afford the gay stuff) in three of the 1L bottles would not even fill one 1L bottle.  The cordial which has already been mixed with water could probably fit in a 1L bottle but it's in a 2L bottle.  As for the last bottle, it is actually FULL, but it's full of water and I don't really know why.  Then I have my blue water bottle.  The straw appears to be broken but I leave it there in the hope that one day the little man who turns the light on and off will set to work on my water bottle and it will miraculously function.

Contents of my Fridge
  • Water
  • Cordial
  • Cordial (mixed with Water)
  • Tomato Sauce
  • Tomato Sauce (Gluten Free)
  • Hoisin Sauce
  • Dijon Mustard
  • Mayonnaise
  • Grated Cheese
  • Pumpkin Soup
Actual Food in my Fridge
  • Grated Cheese
  • Pumpkin Soup
Actual Food in my Fridge not supplied by my Dad
  •  Grated Cheese
 What my Fridge says about me today:
Nothing.  My fridge can't talk.  However, I do know that I keep looking at the cordial thinking I should make some up in the 2L bottles because I'm going to run out of ready to drink cordial very soon.  Tragedy!  Mixing cordial with water is the closest I can get to successfully making something in the kitchen.  I can proudly say that I have never burned cordial.

As for food...  Moving on.  Nothing more to see here.  No, I just haven't mastered ANY of the steps necessary for feeding myself except for the bit where I actually consume and digest the food.  Everything before that is still in the very early stages. By "very early" I don't mean "infancy", I mean "embryonic development" or "not even conceived".

Current hurdles in the way of me cooking food
  • Having the energy to get to the supermarket
  • Having the control to not be overwhelmed by the supermarket
  • Knowing what food to buy
  • Knowing what to make with the food I have bought
  • Getting home from the supermarket with the food I've bought that I don't know what to make
  • Having the energy to prepare the food
  • Knowing how to prepare the food
  • Knowing how to cook the food
The way I see it, if that was actually a hurdles race and I managed to jump the first hurdle, I would probably get to the second hurdle, stop, look at it looming down at me, turn around and crawl back to the start line.

I'd love to end on a happier note but I'm exhausted just by writing about how I see the whole 'feeding myself' scenario so I have to go and inhale a couple of litres of refrigerated bottled air.

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