Tuesday, 12 June 2012

I'm so glad I know she wanted a cashmere cardigan

The Advertiser sent me a letter advising me that I was under no obligation to receive free newspapers for a week.  It was in one of those brightly coloured envelopes addressed to "The Householder" so I didn't open it until it was too late to cancel the newspaper deliveries.  No obligation?  They threw a new newspaper on my driveway every day for seven days!  I couldn't sweep them onto the street and pretend they weren't mine.

I tried reading the newspapers but it was painful.  I photographed some of the worst articles and I'm slowly working through a week's worth of crosswords.  The photos didn't turn out very well so you can't actually read the articles.  No loss there.

A selection of the worst articles

Headline: Monster moggy claws at record

Summary: Someone's cat is big.

Headline: When it comes to beards it's only a matter of trust

Summary: Some people don't trust men with beards.

Linked Articles: To find out if men with beards can be trusted they asked 5 men with beards.  At least the men gave decent answers and Ryan was funny.

Headline: Retailers hopeful of $30m spend at sales

Summary: A lady waited for a shop to open.

Caption: BARGAIN HUNTER: Marlene Taylor waited alone for David Jones to open for the start of its sales yesterday to buy a cashmere cardigan.

Caption: "Our clever dog Charlie enjoyed reading the TV guide" Gwen Kelsey says.

Summary: Someone has a pet dog.

Headline: Stopping all over

Summary: Traffic Lights: They go red.

Headline: Life is unreal

Summary: A girl was given a new apartment to accomodate the film crew of a reality show.

Headline: Blockbuster concert fit for a Queen

Summary: A concert was NOT fit for the Queen.

(Excerpt below)

Headline: Sequins make a dazzling comeback

Summary: Someone likes sequins.

Headline: Bigger spend-ups now suit men

Summary: Men are buying more suits.

Headline: Men return to shopping

Summary: Men are buying more suits (still, the day after the first article about men buying more suits)

And finally, the week in sports...

Summary: People pulled funny faces.

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