Sunday, 10 June 2012

Out, damned spot! Out, I say!

It should be noted that I haven't got any blood on my hands and no kings were harmed in the writing of this post.  There was a slightly dirty patch in the middle of the loungeroom curtains and I really wanted it clean.  It was created by our cat Prancer brushing against the curtains when he jumped onto the window sill but I'm not sentimental enough to keep dirt on the curtains in memory of our cat.  I am quite forgetful though so I continued getting rid of carpet and making the floorboards look presentable.  See During House Renovations - Scrubbing Day with Pippi Longstocking, During House Renovations - Flipping Underlay Residue and House Renovations - Loungeroom.

When the floor was done: Ooooh, look at the beautiful floorboards!  But the curtains are still dirty! Raarrrr!

Below is the sound effect which played in my head when I noticed the dirty patch on the curtains.  I've never seen the movie but I often get sound effects from things I haven't seen.  It might be frightening if you've seen the movie but you can just imagine she has washed her hair with shampoo and discovered she has no conditioner.  The sound effect works for anything.  UPDATE: I accidentally played it with the volume up loud and it was terrifying.  I had no choice but to delete it.  How dare the original Psycho violin screech be so different to the noise that I make. 


That's it!  I am washing the curtains.

It's still good.  Just a little shreddy?

Fine then!  I will buy new curtains.  I guess some products are not made to last 25 years in the sun.

Several weeks later I went to Spotlight to buy new curtains.  I had to buy 2 packets of curtains to fit the width of the windows.  I fitted the hooks and put them up ready for the grand unveiling.  Yay! New Curtains. There was no grand unveiling.  The mechanism to open and close the curtains didn't work.

I took down the curtains and disassembled the curtain track.  I enlisted the help of a couple of YouTube videos to figure out how to re-thread the cord.  I had removed the old cord and was now replacing it with itself after finding out that the brand new cord I bought was 2 metres too short.  I couldn't figure out the master pulleys and the pulleys and the under and over so I got my Dad to do it for me. He also put the curtain track back on the wall.

I was pretty impressed at having a curtain track with functioning pulleys.  Wheeee!  Look how it glides so smoothly.  I care not for curtains.  I can make the little rolling things roll.

I eventually put the curtains up and they opened and closed.  Yay! New Curtains.

A few days later the house began to smell and I thought something had died.  It was the curtains.  They were still as alive as curtains can be but they caused the house to smell of dead animal.  I took the curtains down, confiscated their hooks and washed the stinky curtains.  I banished them outside so they could think about what they'd done.

The curtains weren't coping very well behind bars.  They were becoming more and more twisted as the days went by.  I brought them in and they are back where they belong.  Yay! New Curtains.

Please, curtains, I don't want to make this story any longer.  Behave yourselves.

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